Nov 22
Tongue Twisters
icon1 tejaswinita | icon2 Fun :D, Uncategorized | icon4 11 22nd, 2007| icon3No Comments »  892 views

1. If you understand, say “understand”. If you don’t understand, say “don’t understand”. But if you understand and say “don’t understand”. How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won’t wish the wish you wish to wish.

3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

4 .A sailors went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.

5. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

6 .If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

7 .I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn’t have thought so much.

8 .Once a fellow met a fellow in a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, “If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow what a fellow means?”

9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr. Outside. Mr. Inside stood outside and called to Mr. Outside inside.
Mr. Outside answered Mr. Inside from inside and Told Mr. Inside to come inside. Mr. Inside said “NO”, and told Mr. Outside to come outside.
Mr. Outside and Mr. Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr. Outside coaxed Mr. Inside to come inside, and then both Mr. Outside and Mr. Inside went outside to the riverside.

10.SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES

11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
“When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor’s the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor’s way”

13.We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We’ll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. Watch? Whether the weather is hot.
Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.

14.Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely .

15 .A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly “Oh what should we do” Said the flea” Let us fly Said the fly “Let us flee” So they flew through a flaw in the flue

16.If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.

17.Mr. See owned a saw. And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen See’s saw Before See sawed Soar’s seesaw, See’s saw would not have sawed Soar’s seesaw. So See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw. But it was sad to see Soar so sore just because See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw ……..

Nov 21
This is HOW GEN MEN GET INTO TROUBLE
icon1 tejaswinita | icon2 Uncategorized | icon4 11 21st, 2007| icon3No Comments »  372 views

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, ” Why are you crying?”
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.
“Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, “No.”
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.”
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.
“Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, “Yes.”
The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
******
Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?”
“Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!”
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.
“Is this your wife? ” the Lord asked.
“Yes,” cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”
The woodcutter replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord.. It is a misunderstanding.
You see, if I had said ‘no’ to Jennifer Lopez , You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I said ‘no’ to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three.
Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT’S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez .”
******

 

Nov 21

ONE POINT OFFICE DARES

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other ‘non-player’ must be in the toilet at the time).
3) Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you
4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, “Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye.”
5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, “Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good
7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way”. 8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
9) While riding a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINTS DARES

1) Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, “Did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it”.
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Bob”.
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a number two”.
5) After every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in “the report’s on your desk, Mon”. Keep this up for one hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead; repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!”.

Nov 21
Real techies worries
icon1 tejaswinita | icon2 Uncategorized | icon4 11 21st, 2007| icon3No Comments »  323 views

1)

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer “No.”
Tech Support:: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”

=======================================================================

2)
Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message.”
Tech Support:: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

========================================================================
3).
Customer:: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support:: “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”
Tech Support:: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer:: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support:: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer:: “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”

=========================================================================
4)
Customer:: “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support:: ?!%#$

==========================================================================
5)
.Tech Support:: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can
you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”

===========================================================================
6)
Tech Support:: “What type of computer do you have?”
Customer:: “A white one.”

===========================================================================
7).
Tech Support:: “Type ‘A:’ at the prompt.”
Customer:: “How do you spell that?”

===========================================================================

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