Huntme007 » Jokes

Universal law’s on Girls

Satish Gandham — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 05:47:27 +0000

If u think a girl is beautiful, she’ll always have a boyfriend to confirm that
The nicer she is…the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!
The more the makeup, worse the looks…
“99% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 1% would always be in your company.”……………..100% true
The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now ,when you are committed..
The more you ignore a girl, the more she’ll want to be friends with you.
Theory of relativity….. The more u run towards a hot chick….the more she goes away from u…
Rule 1: Even if you got her out alone… just when you are about to let her know about your feelings…she will spot a long lost friend( I guess from Kumbh ka Mela)

Corollary to rule 1: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1

Axiom 1: The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before things work out, but ultimately it will (somesmile for the guys)

10. the day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-

1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3.Have a bad hair day

11. all the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go around with u and ruin ur money,health and leave u a total wreck.

12. the more seriously u like a girl…the more seriously her dad will hate u

13. the love you shower a girl with is directly proportional to the number of bullets her dad will be showering at you

The best way to improve your poker skills is to practice. There are many online poker sites out there that have both play-money games as well as real-money games with low stakes.Here is omaha poker strategy

Husbands are really innocent

Satish Gandham — Fri, 23 May 2008 06:13:00 +0000

Where is the money

Show me your pockets

I ll not give the money…… She spends all of my salary…..Booohoooo!!!

Give me way….. I am going for shopping.

Thanks Sweetheart………..bye

Punctuation is too Powerful!!

Satish Gandham — Fri, 23 May 2008 05:31:13 +0000

An English professor wrote the words :
“A woman without her man is nothing”
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
All the females in the class wrote:
“A woman: without her, man is nothing.”
Punctuation is powerful

The best ever—-kon banega karore pati :P

Satish Gandham — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:06:08 +0000

Amitabh : apka 13th question 25 lakh yeh raha apke samne..

Contestant Santa Singh is tensed.

Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachan

Computer Screen:

A. Amitabh Bachan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav C. Moh. Azhar D. General
Perverz Musharaff.

Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ? ( He is quite sure that Santa will opt
for
A) But Santa is still confused.

Amitabh : Apke pas do life line hai..(50:50 and phone a friend)

Santa: I think it is A but am not sure.

Amitabh : Not sure… Hmmm Ap kya karna chahenge?

Santa : I would like to use 50:50?

Amitabh: Ok computer , 2 galat javabo ko mita de..

Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -

B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.
C. Moh. Azhar.

Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made
this mistake But as is said in bollywood the show must go on. Now Santa
is confused. Santa: i would like to use the last life line phone a
friend..

Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?

Santa : Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna
chahoonga………………………………………………………

How a women withdraws money from an ATM

Satish Gandham — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:02:56 +0000

How a man withdraws cash from ATM.

1) Park the car
2) Go to ATM
3) Insert card
4) Enter PIN
5) Take money
6) Drive away

How a woman withdraws cash from ATM

1) Park the car
2) Check makeup
3) Turn off engine
4) Check makeup
5) Go to ATM
6) Hunt for ATM card in the purse.
7) Insert card
Hit Cancel
9) Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it.
10) Insert card
11) Enter PIN
12) Take cash
13) Go to car
14) Check makeup
15) Start car
16) Stop car
17) Run back to ATM
18) Take ATM card
19) Back to car
20) Check makeup
21) Start car
22) Check makeup
23) Drive for ½ mile
24) Release hand-brake
25) Drive on.
SNE………..

When I was small I was very mischievous

Satish Gandham — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:48:16 +0000

I used to break rocks with my head

Used to play with Basketball !

Used to Take a ride on Comodo Dragon !

Swim with my Dolphin !

Even make a Lion get frightened !

Used to Challenge the police !

Give bath to my Ajgar !

Used to Race with cars !

Always Made new friends !!

Go skating !

Surf on the waves !

Now I am s/w engineer !I Just sit on a chair !

How do you scare a software engineer?

Satish Gandham — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:25:59 +0000

Adventures may go wrong

Satish Gandham — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:08:42 +0000

Manmohan, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Jayalalitha ….

Satish Gandham — Thu, 22 May 2008 10:59:21 +0000

Manmohan, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Jayalalitha are travelling in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap. The train comes out of the tunnel. Jayalalitha and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Jayalalitha is thinking: – These Pakistanis are all crazy after Madhuri. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Madhuri is thinking: -Musharaf must have moved to kiss
me, and kissed Jayalalitha instead and got
slapped.

Musharraf is thinking: -Damn it, Manmohan must have tried to kiss Madhuri, she thought it was me and slapped me.

Manmohan is thinking: -If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Musharraf again.

Ads that catch your attention

Satish Gandham — Thu, 22 May 2008 06:55:25 +0000